One Month.

This week baby boy will have been alive for one month. We have kept a whole human alive for a month. That’s insane to think about. In this month, I have learned so many things about myself, about my son, and about mothering. The expectation of motherhood vs the reality of motherhood has really hit me, and it would be a disservice if I didn't share those with other expecting first time moms.

So, here goes nothing.

Babies will be up all hours of the night- Honestly, all babies are different. My son sleeps pretty good at night, only wakes up one time between the hours of 2am-4am. After we change him and feed him, he falls right to sleep and won’t wake up until 6am - 7am. But at the same time, if your child is hectic at night, just know it gets better. Every baby has different stretches of sleep at different rates, and that’s perfectly fine.
People will change after childbirth - There’s some truth to this but I think with everything, different seasons bring out different truths about the people closest to you. Whether that brings you closer or not is up to the person. I am all about not begging people to be in my life and reciprocating the same energy. So, I’ll definitely make effort to maintain friendships or bonds with the people I love, but if that energy isn’t the same. Your girl is focused on the people who do show up, and I am glad to say that most of my bonds/friendships have remained intact since Micah’s birth. I’ve received texts, FaceTime calls, and love from all the people I hold dear. I am super thankful for that and don’t take it for granted. And if that hasn’t been the case for you, change your circle and focus on the people who show up for you and your baby.

Your instincts will come natural - This is a case by case basis. I felt out of place the first couple of days after giving birth, and honestly was scared to take care of him. I literally was taking directions from my husband about how to change his diaper, feed him, and more. Mostly because the first couple of days I was in pain and couldn’t bond with him as much, my husband was able to. So I let him take the lead, and I followed until I got enough confidence to figure out my own ways of doing things.
Mama bear is real - Yes, I 100% believe this. I am way more outspoken than ever before. I don’t like when people feel like they can talk to me any kind of way. I don’t mind taking advice from people about baby boy, but I will end up doing things my way. Everyone who has had a kid before has been able to parent and raise their kids their way. I should have the same right.
Breastfeeding vs Formula - Fed baby is the best. We decided to go the formula route, and boy do I love formula feeding. It allows me to not be the only source of food for the baby, and takes the pressure off of me. It also gives my husband a chance to bond with baby just as much as me, and depend on both of us, instead of one of us. So, whatever you decide to do, either way, your baby will be as happy as can be.

Your whole identity is being a mother - This can be true for some, but for me it’s just an extension of who I am. I hate when people say your life is over when you have a kid because it’s not. Your kids will eventually grow up and go their own way. If you don’t find something outside of your kids to live for, then you will be a miserable adult when they leave. Make time for yourself, for your spouse, for your friends. Your kids will thank you for it.

These are a couple of things that I have debunked during my first month of motherhood. I have enjoyed every moment, despite the spit ups, pee accidents, and explosions. I can’t wait to see what else I’ll learn in the next month, and all the things I will be able to share with you all.

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Motherhood | Expectation vs Reality