I Keep Starting Over—Here’s Why

Hey fellow mamas, mamas-to-be, aunties… you name it 💕

Thanks for stopping by to catch up with ya girl.

Here I am, three months after my first post, and all I can say is… life be lifing. And if I’m being real, I don’t always take the time I need for myself. In some ways I do , spending time with friends, indulging in my favorite foods, binging a good TV show. But in other ways, I don’t. I can go days without posting, creating content, or even taking proper care of myself (nails, hair… all that).

I always say it’s because of my kids or not having enough time. But if we’re being honest… I’m realizing it’s deeper than that.

I don’t have BIG faith in myself.

I don’t fully believe that me showing up and posting is going to amount to much. I used to want to be a content creator (an influencer), but even the work it takes just to edit can feel overwhelming. Not because I don’t enjoy it, but because of what comes with it.

The comparison.
The doubt.
The “do I even got it?”

And by “it,” I mean that special sauce that keeps people interested in what I’m doing, saying, or thinking.

Some days, I feel like I do have it. My best friends hype me up all the time, telling me how talented I am and how much they enjoy my content. And while that means everything to me, it’s still hard to believe it’s actually worthy.

Because if you really knew how many times I’ve started over… Instagram, TikTok, YouTube… I’ve lost count. I delete videos constantly because I’m my biggest critic.

Was my hair okay?
Did I say the right thing?
Did I come off too much? Not enough?
Too “ghetto”? Too “whitewashed”?

It’s a never-ending list of critiques I run through every time I watch myself back. So it’s hard not to assume other people are thinking the same thing. And don’t even get me started on taking pictures. The confidence I used to have in front of the camera? Yeah… she been real quiet lately. And listen, they not lying about the camera adding weight 😭 But even with all of that… I still have the desire to show up and share. And when I really sat with that, I realized something. Even if my content never blows up… never hits millions… I genuinely enjoy being honest. I enjoy building community. I enjoy connecting with women who get it. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about money in the bank account—it’s about the people you touch.

Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not above the blessings 😂 I’ll take the money, the likes, the comments, the shares, the follows… all of that. But that’s not the foundation.

It’s the why behind what I’m doing. The purpose behind showing up. So today, April 15, 2026, I’m making a decision. ’m done deleting my content. I’m choosing to grow instead of erase. To evolve instead of restart. To honor every version of me that got me here.

So yes… this is another “I’m back” post.

But this time, it’s different.

Thank you for sticking with me through the inconsistency, the stops and starts, the disappearing acts. I don’t take that lightly. And I’m committed to showing up more—real, transparent, honest, and informative.

We’re growing over here. For real this time.

So tell me—how have you dealt with inconsistency? What helped you keep going?

Let’s talk in the comments 🤍